I don’t know why it happened then, or why it should have been the Queen who breached the dam. ‘And what was that like?’ What was it like? What could I say? My mind filled instantly with images of toxic dust, of crushed school desks, of bloodied and limbless children.Īnd of Alan Henning and those other Westerners whose lives had ended in the most appalling fashion. I suppose she was expecting me to say, ‘From Hammersmith,’ or something like that, but I told her I had recently returned from Aleppo. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to speak to her I couldn’t. I tried to speak, but nothing would come out of my mouth. The dessert arrived and the Queen turned to me.Īt first I couldn’t hear what she was saying, as my hearing had been damaged by a bomb blast near the hospital in Aleppo. I realise now that I should have been speaking first to the person on my left, but I cannot recall doing so and whoever it was must have thought me extremely rude. God knows what he must have thought.įinally, we were taken through to the dining room and one of the courtiers showed me to my seat next to the Queen.Įtiquette dictates that the Queen will speak to the person on her right for half the lunch and will then turn to the person on her left for the second half. I stood dumbly with the other guests making small talk with Prince Philip. But I was perilously close to a panic attack. I looked at the seating plan and found that I was sitting on the Queen’s left, which I knew was an honour. I felt a fraud, guilty – I should not be here enjoying this splendour and warm hospitality while my friends in Aleppo are suffering. I walked along the red carpet into one of the reception rooms and stood awkwardly with the other guests. The contrast between those gilded walls and the ravaged streets of Aleppo began doing weird things to my head. In any event, one day not long after I got back I put on my one and only suit and waved goodbye to Elly as I passed through the gates of the Palace. I am not sure how this came about I knew the broadcast of my Eddie Mair interview had touched a lot of people, so perhaps someone in the Royal household had also tuned in. My diminishing ability to cope was rather spectacularly exposed quite soon after my return, when I was invited to a private lunch with the Queen at Buckingham Palace.

David knott surgeon